My Fight

My Fight
I struggle and wrestle constantly with myself
My body does what it wants, as my soul cries out for help
Part of me want to be numb and the other to be free.
A pill I take to escape whatever life throws at me.
I fight alone this war with no end that I can see
Lord, can't you see that I'm fragile and crumbling?
I pray and pray, Jesus take this away from me, Please!
Help me be a good person and learn my lessons rapidly.
Guess I'm on my own, fighting myself till I go crazy,
A spiritual warfare I fight alone constantly.
Part of me loves God, the other wants to live in a fantasy,
Why can't God be enough and mean everything to me?
Instead I choose to take a pill so I can feel numb to everything,
I know there's consequences for things I do but I'm not thinking
and I continue doing these evil things, no matter the ending.
even though I know the harm God can do to punish me
I struggle and wrestle constantly with the evil inside me.
My body does what it wants and my soul cries out for help.
I regret what I've done; once again I'm sorry, so sorry!
you're so disappointed in me so I hide from your beautiful glory.
How can I face you for doing these awful things repeatedly?
To be a child of yours is what I truly want, honestly!
but there's two of me in here and we're so tired of wrestling.
My soul cries out for help as I battle this demon inside me.
This fight is too hard to cope with, can't you see I'm struggling?
I take a pill to escape, even though I know it's what you hate,
My soul cries out for help, but my body chooses the devil's bait.
I'm told that you give us freewill to choose our life's destiny,
but I can't choose till I kill off the evil that's living inside me.
Rosalinda Loy


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